100 Loves
by Satan Abraham
Summary: One hundred Bleach oneshots, each one with a different and probably crackish Bleach pairing. This will be fun. Probably. Mostly AU. There will be some slash later on.
1. hanataro x kiyone xx almost

**SONG ;;**

_Almost by Bowling for Soup_

**PAIRING ;;**

_Hanataro Yamada x Kiyone Kotetsu_

**UNIVERSE (ANIME, MANGA, AU) ;;**

_AU_

* * *

Hanataro didn't actually know Kiyone. He knew her older sister, Isane – Isane was the tallest girl he knew, and he worked with her. But he didn't know Kiyone, who would bounce in to visit Isane sometimes.

Hanataro had only seen a few seconds of Kiyone. One day when Kiyone bounded in, however, Isane was discussing something with their boss, Retsu Unohana. Seeing that Isane wasn't there, Kiyone went for Hanataro.

"Hey, do you know where Isane is?" Kiyone asked. Hanataro glanced up.

Oh. She was pretty. He felt his face heat up.

"Uh, she's busy," he said, busying himself with his work. Kiyone didn't make it easy for him.

"When's she gonna be out?"

"I don't know."

"Are you okay? You look really red," she asked, leaning in close to his face. Hanataro turned redder. His chair went out from under him and he fell. "Oh, sorry about that."

Hanataro was pretty sure his face looked the equivalent of a tomato at the moment.

"Why don't I make it up to you? I'll take you out to dinner?"

* * *

Hanataro Yamada was even more nervous than the time he tried to ask Rukia Kuchiki to the prom his senior year of high school.

He'd ended up puking at her feet and running away, but that was a story for another day.

It wasn't even like it was a fancy restaurant – they were meeting each other at McDonald's at all places. Hanataro had spent a few hours debating what he was going to get, using the online menu as a guide – go manly or healthy? He really didn't want to eat something as disgusting as a Big Mac, but he didn't want to seem... you know… not manly.

In the end, he decided just to get a regular hamburger and fries, because you couldn't go wrong with that.

And water, of course.

He decided to just wear jeans and a t-shirt, because it was just McDonald's.

* * *

\She looked incredibly cute, of course. She was wearing a tanktop and shorts, and she was bubbly and bouncy. Of course.

"Hi," he said, glancing around and tugging at the bottom of his shirt.

"Hi! Oh, don't worry about ordering, I already ordered for you. And me. I mean, I ordered something for you and something for me. And maybe we could share a dessert?"

"Sharing spreads germs-" Hanataro said, cutting himself off. That was probably the stupidest thing he could've done. Kiyone rolled her eyes. "Uh. Sorry."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Kiyone said, waving her hand dismissively. "Ooh, sixty-three! That's us!"

They took a booth near the end, so that she could 'stretch out her legs'. He took the side nearest to the wall, and she took off her shoes and stretched her legs out across her side. Hanataro winced. _Unsanitary… _he thought, fixing his attention back toward the meal.

There were two children's meals on the tray.

"I got you chicken nuggets. And me chicken nuggets. Because chicken nuggets are cool can you go get some ketchup?" she asked. Hanataro blinked and nodded. It was an adventure to the ketchup dispensers – there was a group of teenage girls giggling in front of them and Hanataro spent about ten minutes saying, 'uh' 'can you please- um' 'please move.'

By the time he got back, he had ketchup in his hair along with the two ketchup cups he held in front of him.

Kiyone looked like she wanted to ask what had happened, but didn't.

"That took you a while."

"Yeah…"

They left it at that and ate their meal practically in silence, Hanataro as red as the ketchup in his hair and Kiyone talking every once in a while.

It was probably the most awkward thing he had ever done.

* * *

They stood outside of the McDonald's, Kiyone looking at him like she wanted him to do something.

"So, uh, bye," Hanataro said.

She was moving close to his face.

Oh God, was she going to try to kiss him?

"Bye!" Hanataro squeaked, sprinting home.

* * *

**As the title says, there will be a hundred of these.**

…**yeah**

**Most of them AU.**

**Pretty much all of them crack pairings.**

**So.**

**Let the fun begin!**


	2. shuhei x orihime xx with you

**SONG ;;**

_With You by Linkin Park_

**PAIRING ;;**

_Shuhei Hisagi x Orihime Inoue_

**UNIVERSE (ANIME, MANGA, AU) ;;**

_AU_

* * *

It was a summer romance. Orihime had gone on vacation and, as is to be expected with these sort of romances, she'd met an attractive local boy and 'fallen in love.' Her best friend Tatsuki had warned her away from him, but Orihime had ignored her – Shuhei had a more… rebellious look, but he was a responsible, genuinely nice person. They'd had a brief fling, and Orihime had left with the summer.

Now she had a text message from him – this wasn't too unusual, he did text her every once in a while, but he hadn't for the last month or so.

_I'm coming over._

Orihime blinked. That was sudden. She hadn't seen him since late July, and it was now November. A little late for a visit, but, well… why not? She decided to make cocoa to pass the time until he arrived.

He arrived at around ten o'clock at night. He had a new tattoo – a blue stripe to join his 69 – and three scars running down the right side of his face. Orihime wanted to ask how he'd gotten them, but he didn't give her the chance.

"I need help," he said, making is way toward a chair. He sunk down into it, obviously exhausted. "I… I did something bad. Really bad."

"What happened?" Orihime asked, reaching for him. He flinched away. "Shuhei…"

"I killed someone. Me and my friend and this guy and his dog – we killed-" Shuhei broke off, staring out at nothing. "I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't-"

Orihime's phone rang and she went to answer it, ignoring Shuhei's protests. On the other end was a man she'd never heard before. "Hey, is Shuhei there- no, Komamura, down – uh, this is Tetsuzaemon Iba. Is Shuhei Hisagi there?"

Orihime glanced at Shuhei. He shook his head.

"Sorry, nope!" she said, hanging up the phone. "How did they get my phone number?"

Shuhei shrugged. "I don't know. They'll probably be here in a few minutes. You should probably leave. Spend the night at your friend's… Tatsuki, right?" Not waiting for an answer, Shuhei got up and walked over to the knife that was sitting out on the counter. "I need to… throw everyone off."

With that, he slashed open his hand. Orihime gasped. "You're going to-"

"No, I'll lead them away. You get to safety."

* * *

A few years later, Orihime was working. At the moment, she had a few jobs – she worked at a bakery, and a flower shop on weekends. It was flower shop day.

Shuhei Hisagi walked in.

He looked the same as ever, maybe a little more muscular, maybe a little tanner… but still the same Shuhei. Orihime wasn't sure if she should call out to him or stay where she was.

Rangiku, one of her coworkers, poked her. "He's kinda cute," she said, tilting her head to the side. "A rebel, looks like."

"He only looks like it," Orihime said, glancing at him again. "He's not really. He's the sweetest-"

"Ooh, do you know him?" Rangiku asked. "Did you two do it?"

"What? N-no!" Orihime said, bright red. Shuhei's gaze landed on her and Rangiku squealed, backing away quickly. "Where are you going?"

"It's time for me to get out of your way!" Rangiku said. Orihime rolled her eyes.

"Orihime."

"Hi, Shuhei," she said, smiling at him. He didn't quite smile back. "What brings you here?"

"I got away from them," he said. "'Zuru didn't, but I'm free. And… well… I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime?"

"Say yes!" Rangiku said from across the store.

"I… I guess so. Yeah. That would be fun," Orihime said. Shuhei smiled at last.

"I'll pick you up at eight?"

* * *

They were going steady again, and it was almost normal. Apart from the times that Shuhei stared out at the distance, or the times he started shaking for no reason, it was normal. He'd moved in with her, and they were going to get married in June.

It was going to have a happy ending, even if Orihime had to make it that way.

* * *

**So, yeah. There's the second chapter. :P Not sure how I feel about it, but… whatever. :D Also, I should be updating weekly from now on. **


	3. tesla x apacci xx afterlife

**SONG ;;**

_Afterlife by Avenged Sevenfold_

**PAIRING ;;**

_Tesla Lindocruz x Emilou Apacci_

**UNIVERSE ;;**

_Anime or manga; it doesn't really matter either way. _

* * *

"Don't look at her, you pervert!"

Tesla was suddenly knocked against a wall and to the ground, and when he looked up, he noticed that the one that had knocked him against the wall was _not _Master Nnoitra. It was, in fact a girl.

A boyish looking girl, with different-colored eyes and a horn on her forehead for her hollow mask.

"What?" Tesla asked, more than a bit stunned. The girl grabbed onto the front of his shirt and pulled him up to her face.

"I said, don't look at her. The Third Espada. Tia Halibel. Capiche?" she snarled. Tesla nodded, then blinked.

"But I didn't-"

"Of course you did, you're a _boy_," she said.

At that moment, Master Nnoitra turned the corner. Tesla wasn't exactly sure where he'd been, or how he'd fallen behind, but there he was. He kicked the girl away.

"Shit, Tesla, don't sit here getting your ass kicked by a girl. If you were lookin' at her mistress, it's your deal, not hers," Nnoitra said. "I mean, I used to look at that fuckin' Nel all the time, and it didn't mean I liked her at all. You can enjoy the view and not-"

And then Nnoitra fell to the ground, unconscious. The third Espada, who Tesla supposed he had probably accidentally stared at, stood in his place, looking at him. Tesla decided that it would be best if he just grabbed Nnoitra and dragged him back to his rooms.

When Nnoitra woke up he was not very happy.

"That _bitch_!" he said. He looked like he was a throwing things-and-breaking bones mood, so Tesla stayed out of sight. He stayed in the room – if he didn't it wouldn't end up good – but he made sure to stand out of Nnoitra's view as Nnoitra broke the walls.

He'd already broken everything else in previous rampages.

"C'mon Tesla, let's go kill some shit," he muttered, stalking out of the room. Tesla followed.

* * *

The next time Tesla saw the weird different-colored-eyes girl, it was at the next Espada meeting. He was waiting just outside the meeting room, as he always did, and this time she – and her two friends, the pretty one and the one who… uh… didn't… wear… clothes… - was there.

She recognized him.

"It's the pervert!"

"Uh…" Tesla said, wondering if he should go. Far away. And come back just before the meeting let out. "Hi?"

"Don't try to be all friendly with me-"

"Oh, shut up Apacci," the one who didn't wear clothes said. Tesla, who didn't ever interact with _girls_, had no idea what he was supposed to do. The only thing he was sure he shouldn't do was act like Master Nnoitra, because it didn't seem that Nel had liked that. At all.

Leaving still seemed like the best option.

"He's kinda cute, anyway," the one who didn't wear any clothes continued. Tesla was extremely uncomfortable. The one who didn't wear any clothes stepped closer to him. He tried to back up.

"Hey, what if _I _think he's cute!"

"He doesn't think you're cute."

"What the hell Mila-Rose? Here, let's see."

With that, Apacci pushed past Mila-Rose, grabbed the front of Tesla's Arrancar uniform, and kissed him full on the lips.

* * *

**I know, I know, short and kind of crappy, but. It exists?**

**Anyway, as I've said in all of the other stories I've updated this week, next month I may stop updating randomly, seeing as it is NaNoWriMo and I will be busy writing a 50,000 word novel and… you know… that tends to take up some time.**


	4. mizuiro x tatsuki xx may i

**SONG ;;**

_May I by Trading Yesterday_

**PAIRING ;;**

_Mizuiro Kojima x Tatsuki Arisawa_

**UNIVERSE ;;**

_Anime or manga, it doesn't really matter either way._

* * *

Orihime was gone, and now Ichigo was gone too. Mizuiro maybe didn't quite understand how Tatsuki had felt before Ichigo had disappeared, too, but now he thought he had an idea.

It wasn't like him and Ichigo had hung out lately, or even talked, really, but he'd always felt like he had some sort of… connection, with Ichigo, and now that Ichigo was gone, it was fraying, it was thinning, and pretty soon he had a feeling that it would snap. It had been thinning for a while now, since the summer before this, but now it was thinning at an alarming rate.

But that didn't mean that Mizuiro wanted Ichigo to disappear.

School was dull, as always. Keigo was annoying, everyone else was of no importance – _except. _Except Tatsuki.

He worried about her, almost as much as he worried about himself. She was sad, he knew that, and she was trying to cover it up. She was maybe doing a fairly good job by other's standards, but he'd always been quite in-tune with other people's emotions.

And now, there she was, all alone in the park, just sitting on a bench instead of running or attacking Keigo or anything like she normally did. Mizuiro slipped his phone into his pocket and joined her.

"Hello," he said as he sat down beside her. He sent her a quick smile. She looked at him and nodded. "It's a nice day, isn't it?"

"Sure," she said, and that was it. Mizuiro fought the urge to sigh or grab her hand or just ask her _what was wrong. _

Maybe she needed a movie to cheer her up.

Maybe they both needed a movie.

"Are you busy right now?" Mizuiro asked. She shook her head, and he smiled again. "Then why don't we go catch a movie?"

She came along, and he bought her ticket and his, and they enjoyed the movie. It seemed like strictly a 'friend' thing – there was the right amount of space between them, he'd bought the tickets because he had more money, of course, and it wasn't a 'date' movie, anyway. It was an action movie.

After the movie, the sun starting to set, he walked her home.

"Will you be okay?" he asked. She looked at him.

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" she asked, her hand on the doorknob.

"Because she's gone. And you miss her," Mizuiro said. Tatsuki didn't react very much, but he could see that his words had affected her. "It's not a bad thing, to miss someone when they leave you. But you have to… you have to deal with it in the right way."

"Like you do, you mean?" Tatsuki asked. Mizuiro smiled at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

A few days passed, and then the weekend came. Not a moment too soon, either. Mizuiro had decided that he was going to take Tatsuki out again, only this time – _this time _it would be a date. An actual date.

But he didn't actually like her, very much. He just found that he had a sort of kinship with her. They'd both lost people that they cared about very, very much, and both of them were trying to deal with it in the same ways, even though Mizuiro was better at hiding the fact that he missed Ichigo.

He showed up at her door on Saturday. She looked like she'd just gotten up, hair sticking everywhere and still in her pajamas. "What?" she asked. Mizuiro handed her a bouquet of flowers. Paired with his more-than-casual clothes, it was probably normal for her to be confused. After all, he'd never really shown an interest in her before.

"Get dressed," he said. "I'm taking you out."

Thankfully, she didn't protest that much, and then the two were off. They caught breakfast at a nice little place that Mizuiro often frequented, went to another movie – Mizuiro was starting to see a trend here, and had a nice day.

When they got back to Tatsuki's door, she hugged him. "Thank you," she said. It was quiet, barely there, if Mizuiro hadn't been listening for it he wouldn't have heard it.

Then she turned and went inside, and he paused on her doorstep for a bit before heading home.

* * *

**And I have finished NaNoWriMo early, so updates should be more frequent. **


	5. ggio x soi fon xx youth of yesterday

**SONG ;;**

_Youth of Yesterday by The Veer Union_

**PAIRING ;;**

_Ggio Vega x Soi Fon_

**UNIVERSE ;;**

_AU_

* * *

It was a bit like Romeo and Juliet, Soi Fon realized – except Soi Fon was much more badass than Juliet ever was, no matter which version you watched or read. And Ggio… well, Ggio was actually quite a bit like Romeo, now that Soi Fon thought about it. Except he wasn't romantic. At all.

They went to different, rivaling high schools – it sounded cliché, it was cliché, but that's what it was. They'd met each other at a track meet – they'd each won their respective sex's hundred meter dash and regarded each other skeptically.

Three nights later they went on their first date.

Soi Fon lived with an older-sister type figure who didn't care about high school rivalries, and neither did her stupid boyfriend. No, it was fiancé now, wasn't it? Whatever it was, Soi Fon hated him. But she did like Ggio, and Yoruichi didn't mind when Ggio came over. In fact, Yoruichi was on the verge of embarrassing by how much she 'accepted' him. If Yoruichi and stupid boyfriend fiancé knew that Ggio was coming over, there would almost always be a box of condoms on the table.

Soi Fon would usually shove these in the nearest cupboard. If they needed them, she would get them. But Yoruichi always assumed.

Just because that's all that her and Urahara did didn't mean that that was all that Soi Fon and Ggio did.

Speaking of Ggio, he was late. Soi Fon was waiting at the mall – it was usually crowded enough that each of them could pretend that they were not with each other if someone from either of their schools showed up. And both of them really liked the pretzels in the food court.

Maybe he'd just gotten held up by some of his friends. Soi Fon didn't know why he hung around them – none of them seemed like people he would like, except maybe Findorr Calius – but if he'd gotten caught up in them, she wouldn't blame him for being late. He was fast, but often not fast enough to get past all of them.

Eventually, she decided to just go back home. He must've gotten caught up in something.

* * *

"Didn't show up?" Yoruichi asked as Soi Fon entered the house. Soi Fon glanced around for Urahara, didn't see him, and nodded. She could converse with Yoruichi if there wasn't an Urahara around.

"He probably caught up in something," Soi Fon said. "It's happened before."

"Yeah…" Yoruichi said, nodding. "Oh, by the way Izuru Kira stopped by. He said to give you this."

Izuru Kira? Oh, he was the kid that always kind of lurked around behind her.

Yeah, he was kind of weird.

Soi Fon took the package from Yoruichi and headed up to her room. She turned on her computer so that it would be on once she finished figuring out what Izuru Kira could have given her.

There was a note – she read that first, of course.

_You forgot this in the library after school._

_Kira_

Then why did he wrap it?

It was her sweatshirt and several packs of those smiley-face fruit snacks. Well. That wasn't what she'd expected, but she wasn't complaining.

"Soi Fon! Your boyfriend is here!"

Soi Fon looked out the window and, sure enough, that was Ggio's car in the driveway. She'd always found it a little weird that he drove – honestly, he looked fourteen, even though he was nearing seventeen – but there it was. Same car, same license plates, same broken back window.

She bounded down the stairs. There was Ggio Vega, trying to get around Yoruichi who, though she was about two inches shorter than him, was completely blocking his path. "Ggio!" she said. Ggio glanced up at her and grinned his more than slightly catlike grin.

"Hey," he said. "Can I come up?"

"Not before you say why you're here and-"

Urahara appeared out of nowhere and steered Yoruichi away. Despite her 'acceptance', she always had to know what they were going to do. Presumably so that she could give them more condoms.

"I got expelled," Ggio said as soon as they were behind closed doors. Soi Fon just looked at him. "I mean, it didn't have anything to do with this, but, I, uh…"

Soi Fon waited for him to finish but he didn't. "What did you do?" she asked at last. She could hear Yoruichi and Urahara come up the stairs and stop mysteriously right next to their door. They were listening in. She knew it.

"I kind of went on a murderous rampage," Ggio said, letting out a nervous giggle. He dropped his backpack and pulled out a knife as long as her arm. She kind of wondered how he'd gotten that to fit in his backpack, then dismissed it. "And I presume I'm expelled… I've kind of just been hiding out in the bushes."

"Oh," Soi Fon said. She had not been expecting that. "Why did you do that?"

"Why did I-"

"I'm serious. Why would you do that?" she asked. She was getting a little angry now. "If you're frustrated, sure, get in a fight, but don't come in with a knife and start chopping people up! This could only be worse if you'd have had a gun! What were you thinking?"

"I was _thinking _that-" he cut himself off. He glanced around her room a little awkwardly. "Can I have some fruit snacks?"

"No!" Soi Fon said. "What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't," he said. "But… I'll see you some other time, alright? Maybe?"

"Maybe," Soi Fon said. "What are you planning on doing?"

Ggio shrugged. "Dunno."

* * *

Soi Fon hadn't seen Ggio Vega again for a couple of years. She'd passed it off as him not wanting to get in any more trouble – he wouldn't get in actual trouble with authority if he was seen with her, but his classmates and everyone? Yeah, they wouldn't be the biggest fan of him. So, she accepted it.

During her senior year of college was the next time she saw him. She didn't recognize him at first – she'd stayed at four foot eleven _and a half, rounding up _– but he'd grown to at least five eight. And his hair was shorter, that little braid she'd thought was kind of cute but would never admit that she thought it was cute was gone.

She was basically the same as ever, despite her new haircut.

"Hey," he said. She looked up at him.

"Are you okay?" she asked. He grinned.

"Of course I am," he said. "Wanna go out tonight?"

* * *

**I was a bit unsure of how to do this one, seeing as they interacted so little and seeing how Ggio wasn't part of the show for very long before getting killed off, but it kind of worked..?**


	6. yumichika x isane xx all the small thing

**SONG ;;**

_All the Small Things by blink182_

**PAIRING ;;**

_Yumichika Ayasegawa x Isane Kotetsu_

**UNIVERSE ;;**

_AU_

* * *

Ah, small towns. Everybody knows everybody, little to no diversity, and everyone freaks out when someone new moves in, especially if this someone is even a little bit different.

In Isane Kotetsu's lifetime, this person was Yumichika Ayasegawa.

The first time Isane saw Yumichika, she had to check twice to make sure that he was indeed a man. It was true that he didn't have a woman's build, but he seemed much too pretty to be a man. He'd moved here with another man – 'just close friends', they claimed, but the town said differently. The town didn't believe them, especially when they got a closer look at Yumichika.

Isane, to be honest, didn't really care. It was their deal, after all. It had absolutely nothing to do with her. She _didn't_ care. And then she ran into Yumichika Ayasegawa at Wal-Mart in the next town over.

(When she said 'small town' she really meant small town. Village would probably be more appropriate for describing this place.)

Isane had been doing the grocery shopping for the week. Kiyone, her sister, was supposed to because Isane had a more taxing job, but Kiyone often neglected doing what she was supposed to do to get closer to her boss. Isane suspected a bit of a school-girl crush.

She'd quite literally run into Yumichika Ayasegawa, both of them falling to the ground and the eighty-percent cocoa chocolate she'd been planning on getting skidding underneath a shelf. "I'm sorry," Yumichika said. He gets up first and moves to help her up with a fluid grace that presents itself in dancers. "I didn't see you there."

Isana lets herself be helped up and wishes that she'd stayed down. She's about half a foot taller than him; maybe a little more. She's always hated her height.

"It was my fault," Isane says. She's a bit quiet – muttering, almost, but he doesn't comment. "You're Yumichika Ayasegawa, aren't you?"

"Yes," he says, nodding. "And you're…?"

"Isane Kotetsu."

He's better dressed than she is; it's Saturday, she doesn't have to work, she's wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt underneath her coat. He looks rather nice, and up close he does look more like a man. Especially if you were close enough to see the muscles underneath his shirt.

"Well, Miss Kotetsu," Yumichika said. "Would you like to go out for dinner sometime? So I can make it up to you?"

"Sure," Isane said. She's not quite sure why she accepted, but she did, and tonight she's going to dinner with Yumichika Ayasegawa. She doesn't know where – she just gave him her address to come pick her up, finished her shopping – after retrieving her cart from the end of the aisle, where it had rocketed after their collision – and went home.

Kiyone was excited about Isane's 'date.'

"You should wear this! Ooh, or this! Or this! Or this-"

"Kiyone," Isane said. "It's not anything special-"

"Isane, if that guy's straight, it's going to be something special," Kiyone said. She skipped back to Isane's closet, eventually pulling out a dress that Isane had worn to her boss's wedding. "I think you should wear this."

"But what if he's dressed casually-"

"He won't be," Kiyone said. "But if he is, I'll stall him while you change. He's picking you up, remember."

"So you'll answer the door?" Isane asked. Kiyone nodded. Isane felt marginally better and changed. Kiyone waited by the door. Isane rolled her eyes.

"Isane! He's here!" Kiyone called. Isane looked out the window. Yumichika was getting out of a car and walking to the door. He did look like he was dressed up, to a degree. She tiptoed down the steps and peeked around the corner.

Thank god. He was wearing a suit.

"You look beautiful," was all he said before escorting her out the door.

When Isane came back that night, Kiyone was waiting for her. "So?" her sister asked, bouncing up and down. "How was it?"

"It was… nice," Isane said. With that, she left Kiyone wanting more details and went to bed.

* * *

**And there we go~**


	7. shinji x hiyori xx for you only

**SONG ;;**

_For You Only by Trading Yesterday_

**PAIRING ;;**

_Shinji Hirako x Hiyori Sarugaki_

**UNIVERSE ;;**

_Anime or manga, it doesn't really matter either way._

* * *

Shinji was the happy one.

Well, maybe happy wasn't the right word. But he was certainly one of the most upbeat. One of the friendliest. One of the least uptight.

Part of this was his personality, but part of it was so that their time in exile wouldn't be so damn miserable. Mashiro and Hachi did their parts, of course, and Rose wasn't especially mopey on good days, but with Hiyori grumbling about everything and smacking people with her shoe, you needed an extra push some days. Mashiro couldn't do it all.

One day, Shinji had the misfortune of sleeping in and being stuck with her. They'd only been in exile a year or so; enough time for Urahara to get them set up with a place that they could roughly call 'home.' It was a lot different than the Soul Society.

"Wake up!"

Shinji was woken up by a shoe in the face. He sighed and laid there for a few more minutes before he was smacked with the shoe again. "I'm up," he muttered.

"No you aren't!"

"Just shut up and let me sleep," Shinji said. There was a bit more arguing and throwing shoes back and forth, but eventually she gave up.

That was too easy.

Shinji sat up, looking around. Yep, she was completely gone. He was suspicious – she never would give up that easily. Ever. Even if she didn't really want him around, she'd end up waking him up just to be annoying.

Something was wrong.

"Hiyori?" he asked, walking cautiously toward where she usually was when she wasn't bothering people. Well, it was very unlikely that she wasn't bothering people, but she had to sleep sometimes.

Thankfully, he didn't have to search the entire town before he found her. She was in that spot, knees pulled up to her chest, staring moodily at the floor. Despite his instinct to just back away and leave her to whatever she was doing, he sat down beside her. She glanced at him for half a second, then went back to staring at the floor.

"What's up with you?" he asked. She didn't answer, and he pushed gently on her shoulder. "C'mon, Hiyori. What's wrong?"

He hadn't really expected her to answer, but she did.

"I miss the Soul Society," was all she said.

"We've been gone for a year. Funny time to be missing it," Shinji remarked. She glared at him, but didn't do something else. Okay, there really was something wrong with her.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

Shinji shrugged. "Worried, I guess."

Hiyori sighed – it must have tried to sound annoyed, but it just sounded sad.

"Don't be worried."

"But I am."

* * *

**I'm sorry this is so bad, but the song and the pairing clashed and this is the only way it would work. :/**


	8. izuru x soi fon xx hell

**SONG ;;**

_Hell by Disturbed_

**PAIRING ;;**

_Izuru Kira x Soi Fon_

**UNIVERSE ;;**

_AU_

* * *

"You're dead."

Izuru Kira blinked. "What- no, that can't be right," he said. "I was just-"

"I don't make the rules," the man in front of him said. "You were hit by a school bus. You're dead."

"I-" Izuru shook his head to clear it. Had he really died? Hit by a _school _bus? That just… that just didn't make sense. But it was true. It had to be true; otherwise, why would he be here, wherever this was?

Where was this, anyway? Hell? It sure wasn't heaven.

After getting directions from the man, Izuru began to walk down a long hallway that, seemingly, had no end. He wasn't sure where he was or why he only passed a person every once in a while. He'd read that a person died approximately every twelve seconds, so, statistically, he should be seeing more people than what he was.

"Hey."

Izuru jumped, looking around. Nobody. But he could've sworn someone had said something…

"Up here."

Izuru looked up to see a small, pretty, dark-haired girl hanging from the ceiling. He blinked. "Um," he said. "What exactly are you doing?"

She ignored his question, lowering herself down until she was face to face with him. "What did he say to you?"

"The guy back there? Uh, you're dead, I don't make the rules, you were hit by a school bus," Izuru replied, more than a little freaked out by her straightforwardness and the fact that she was dangling from the ceiling. She nodded, grabbed the front of his shirt, and suddenly they were rocketing up toward the ceiling. Izuru closed his eyes, bracing for the impact.

The impact never game. Izuru opened one eye cautiously. They were in a sort of attic-y type place, nice enough, he supposed, for what he was sure was Hell. "Where is this?" he asked. The girl, who had gotten rid of the harness she'd used from hanging from the ceiling, looked at him.

"Hell. Haven't you guessed?" she asked. "Only the extremely perfect get into heaven. Yoruichi is there, I'm sure… that's my quest. To find Yoruichi again. You looked lost, like you're looking for someone, too, so I figured that you could help me."

"Well…" Izuru's thoughts flashed to Momo Hinamori, a classmate of his – or, at least, she had been, after being brutally murdered by her ex-teacher slash ex-boyfriend, Sosuke Aizen. "Yeah. Sort of."

"Then it's settled. We're going to find a way into heaven and we're going to find them," the girl said. Taking quick steps over to him, she extended her hand for a shake. "I'm Soi Fon."

"Izuru Kira," Izuru said, taking her hand. She really was pretty – she even looked a bit like Momo, with dark hair and gray eyes. "So, where do you propose we look?"

"I have a couple of leads," Soi Fon said, going over to a desk and holding up a stack of papers. "I have a couple of informants all over this place – Nemu Kurotsuchi, Kiyone Kotetsu, Rangiku Matsumoto, and Omaeda." She wrinkled her nose in disgust when she mentioned the last person on her list. Izuru had an idea that this person wasn't a person he'd want to meet.

"Alright," Izuru said. "What do you want me to do?"

Soi Fon looked at him, her dark eyes seemingly staring straight into his soul. Izuru took a step back.

"You need to make connections," she said. "There's a man… he's a little on the odd side, but he will tell you what you need to know. I haven't been able to meet him, but _you, _you might."

"Alright," Izuru said, swallowing. "Where is he?"

* * *

Izuru Kira stood in front of a door that looked like he didn't want to enter. It was large, dark, foreboding, and really just not a nice-looking place.

Swallowing back his fears, he knocked.

A young-looking, pretty person (to be honest, Izuru wasn't sure if it was a boy or a girl) answered. He – she studied Izuru and wrinkled its nose. "What," it asked flatly.

From the voice, Izuru would say a boy.

"I- uh-" Izuru stumbled over his words, glancing around. "I need to talk to Gin Ichimaru."

The boy's eyebrows raised. "Really?" he asked. "Usually it's whores that Grimmjow ordered. You don't look like his usual type, though… right, Gin. Hey! Tesla! Get Gin!"

After a bit of shouting between this boy, 'Tesla', and some other guy who swore a lot, a tall, silver-haired man stood in front of Izuru. "Well, hello, 'Zuru," he said, grinning even wider. "Why don't you come in?"

Izuru barely had time to wonder how Gin had known his name before he was yanked roughly through the door. Gin kept a tight grip on his arm, and all Izuru could do was stumble after him and look around at all the people. A blue-haired man wearing only half a shirt was surrounded by half-dressed men and women. A pink-haired man stood at a table, mixing things that looked like they were about to explode. A dark-haired woman met the pretty black-haired boy and the two went off, talking in loud voices about things that Izuru didn't especially want to hear about.

"Welcome to my lair," Gin said, smirking and flopping down on a couch. Izuru stood, awkward. "What do you want to know?"

"Well, Soi Fon-"

* * *

Izuru woke up with a monster headache.

Soi Fon was bend over him, obviously concerned. "Thank God," she muttered. "That spoon-headed bastard knocked you out, but I managed to get you out of there in time."

"Wha… where…"

"Don't talk," Soi Fon advised, and Izuru could see something… was it affection? In her eyes. "You'll be fine. We can get into heaven another day."

* * *

**And here we go.**


	9. aizen x momo xx stand in the rain

**SONG ;;**

_Stand in the Rain by Superchick_

**PAIRING ;;**

_Sosuke Aizen x Momo Hinamori_

**UNIVERSE ;;**

_AU._

* * *

She'd woken up a few days ago, members of Squad Four surrounding her. She hadn't known why she was there. She had faint memories of Captain Aizen not being dead, of her finding Captain Aizen and hugging him because he was _there _and _alive _and it had been _wonderful_, but…

She hadn't been able to remember anything past that. She still couldn't, really, but she remembered pain and blood and total disbelief. Something had happened. Something had happened and now whenever she mentioned Captain Aizen people turned away, made some excuse, and left her. She hated it when they left her, hated it when she was stuck all alone in Squad Four with nothing but the occasional member of Squad Four to keep her company. Not that she had anything against members of Squad Four; they were all very nice even though they wouldn't tell her why she was there.

One night, when the only one in the same room as her was a newer recruit of Squad Four, Momo slipped out of bed, knocking the other Shinigami out with a small raise of her spiritual pressure. It took more out of her than she'd like to admit – what _had _happened? Captain Aizen hadn't been dead. Captain Aizen had been _there_, she'd _touched _him, she'd _hugged _him. And then… and there had been blood. There had been blood and there had been pain and she knew she couldn't believe what had happened and that's why she couldn't remember it.

She left Squad Four and headed to Squad Five, sitting down in Captain Aizen's room and rifling through the calligraphy he'd left behind. Why wasn't he here, if he was alive?

"Momo."

Was that – no. It was just Toshiro. She turned around to face him. He stood in the doorway, arms crossed, looking annoyed, as usual, but maybe a bit sad, too. "Where's Captain Aizen?" she asked, and he glanced around the room awkwardly. No. She should have said hello first. She'd messed up.

"Momo… he… don't you remember?"

She shook her head, and he took a deep breath. "You should get back to Squad Four. You'll reopen your injuries if you run around like this-"

"I'm not going back there," she said. She was absolutely sure of this. She wasn't going back there. "I'm going to go find Captain Ai-"

"Damn it, Momo!" Toshiro was angry. She didn't know why she'd made him angry. Maybe because he wasn't as inherently _good _as Captain Aizen. Maybe that was why. "He _stabbed _you! That's why you were in the hospital! That's why he's gone! He faked his death and betrayed the Soul Society!"

Toshiro wasn't making any sense.

She was going to go find Captain Aizen.

She pushed past Toshiro and flash-stepped away, ignoring how much it was taking out of her. She was still weak, but once she found Captain Aizen it would be okay. It would all be okay.

And she did find him. She found him sitting beside a river in Rukongai. His glasses were gone, but, if possible, he looked even more handsome without them.

She still sort of missed them, though.

"Momo," he said. "Sit down."

"Toshiro says you stabbed me," she said, sitting down beside him. "I don't think he's right, though… right?"

"Toshiro stabbed you," Captain Aizen said. "I was merely trying to protect you. I had to flee. The Soul Society is a corrupt place. Kaname, Gin, and myself have plans to correct this, but to do that we must leave. "

"Let me come with you," she said, and for a moment it looked like he was going to refuse and she was worried. But he came through, as always, and nodded.

"We will be working with… hollow-like beings, however," he said, and she nodded. "But it's all for a good cause."

"Okay," she said. "I trust you."

Captain Aizen smiled and she hugged him and this time there was no pain, there was no blood, there was no disbelief. And it was wonderful.

* * *

**huh it's been a while since i wrote any bleach fanfiction hi**


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